Women’s Forum: Celebrating their versatility and quest for balance
By: Diana Bello Aristizábal
Women’s History Month is the perfect time to remember how unique and inspiring women are and reflect on how they can stand out in the workplace without neglecting their other sides or ceasing to be true to themselves. That was the topic that brought together five women from South Florida at the latest Doral Family Journal forum entitled ‘Women who educate and inspire generations.’
With a full house, Miami Dade College West Campus welcomed its audience: women of different ages and professions and men willing to be part of the conversation on how the two genders can come together to make this a more empathetic and egalitarian society.
Attendees heard lessons learned from Cindy Montgeine, President and Founder of Edgy Strategies, Maria I. Arcaya, Senior Vice President of Social Impact and Institutional Relations at Cisneros, Christi Fraga, Mayor of Doral and moderator of the forum, Dr. Maryam Laguna, Senior Vice President and Chief Operating Officer of Miami Dade College, and Sandra LaFleur, Director of Changemaker Education and Social Innovation at Miami Dade College.
LeFleur opened the forum talking about a pivotal moment in her career, when she moved from working for a local organization to a national one. She says that even though she was drowned by fear in the face of the newly acquired responsibility, she took a risk.
“I told my boss: I’m terrified. He replied: ‘that’s why you’re the right person for the job because if you weren’t nervous, then you wouldn’t have respect for the work that was about to happen.’ That position transformed my perspective on change, I understood that although change is hard, we need to move forward constantly.”
María I. Arcaya shares her opinion and feels that the support of someone who trusts you to give you an opportunity in a new field is key. “I had a similar experience. My interest was on education and my experience, in non-profit organizations, however, I was offered the possibility of changing to the business unit and the leader I was working with was the one who told me I could do it.”
In Cindy’s case, her driving force for making decisions is that they are aligned with her life vision. “I made choices that didn’t seem logical at the time, such as rejecting a promotion twice or leaving a 20-year corporate career to start my own business,” she says, adding that she took those steps considering her career didn’t align with what she wanted for her personal life.
Harmonizing personal life with work is not an easy task. In this regard, Cindy states that to achieve balance, you have to find roles that feed the soul in such a way that even when working long workdays, we don’t lose ourselves or experience burnout. “It is also about organization and boundaries.” She remembers making sure all aspects of her life were covered in the midst of the busiest weekend workwise.
“I think these days there is an expectation that we should respond to everything immediately. It’s almost like you hear your phone or open your email and it’s hard not to respond right away, but sometimes it’s better to wait a little longer before answering,” says Christi Fraga about setting boundaries and finding balance between the personal and professional life amid the digital overload we live in.
However, for Cindy it’s not about balancing the two worlds but about integrating them as sometimes giving more than expected is unavoidable when you start a new project or take on a position of great responsibility. Integrating, in her opinion, is adjusting your judgement to know when to give more and when to slow down.
“My children are along the journey with me. I take them to basketball games, but they go with me to the campus and feel proud of my work as well as that of my husband, with whom they also share workspaces,” says Dr. Laguna. Living her life in such a way is what has allowed her to fulfill her role as a mother without neglecting her career.
“We decided to work, play and have a good time. My kids know where we work and the people we work with and that’s what we’ve done to have a full life.”
Mentoring, sponsorship and empowerment
For today’s well-rounded woman who not only aspires to be a great professional, but also a good mother, friend, wife and any other role she chooses for her life, more than having inspiring bosses, it’s important to count on mentors to advance at work.
Regarding this, Dr. Laguna says it is not about the title. For her, good mentors are not only found behind positions of higher hierarchy, although working with a boss who is also a mentor is the ideal scenario and a privilege, but perhaps also among coworkers. “Mentoring relationships don’t have to be formal. They are rather fluid, unstructured and life long.”
But Cindy believes it’s crucial to receive both mentoring and sponsorship, even better if a single person fulfills both roles. In her experience, the difference between the two is that mentors share powerful words that come from their personal journey, so you don’t make their mistakes, while sponsors open powerful doors for you.
When this happens, says the founder of Edgy Strategies, we have access to opportunities, which, according to some research, is what women lack the most. “We need to be sponsored more and create the social capital for both mentoring and sponsorship.”
And who can be your sponsor? Anyone who sees potential in you. “Sometimes they are individuals who don’t know you but who have seen you working, for example, in a panel. I sometimes find myself advocating for and sponsoring people I don’t even know because I believe we all deserve an opportunity,” says Dr. Lagunas.
But the magic unleashes when women believe in themselves and manage to break down that deep-rooted belief that they must constantly prove their worth, especially in male-dominated environments. “I have been in places where I felt I had to prove myself more, and my approach has been to never doubt my abilities and stay strong,” says Maria.
Both men and women must work to break down the systemic issues that are preventing women from growing, such as fostering stereotypes, relegating household responsibilities to women, or promoting work cultures in which being a mother is seen as a disadvantage.